If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
