i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
