i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize