i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My orgasm happened in two different decades
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
