question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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