My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I checked into jail on foursquare
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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