is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
