i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize