no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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