I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
