But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize