His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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