She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
