We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
