the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
