you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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