can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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