I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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