I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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