It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize