i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
