I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize