Sry I called you an 8
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We just shotgunned beers for America
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
