I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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