TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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