She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
