ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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