dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
how does that bad decision feel?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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