my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
