I think i peed on brittanys purse
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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