You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
