ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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