I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
