Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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