my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
