so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
