do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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