i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize