break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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