so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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