he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
