I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
