You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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