you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So many bounce houses so little time
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
