THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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