the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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