The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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