She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
