mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize