I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
