she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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