You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
