I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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