You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
