Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
