Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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