soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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